This blog contains our thoughts about approaching women, dating and relationships:

Recent Article on Our Book

Our book How to Succeed with Women without Being Wierd was recently featured in an article, Can men succeed with women without being weird jerks? by Shawn Alff on The Daily Loaf. Shawn also interviewed Dr. Batt and VJ.

Copyright, 1 Nov 2010, Hollywood Wingmen Date Coaching.

How to Get Back into the Game after a Breakup

The Many of our clients have recently ended long term relationships. They have trouble getting back into the dating scene after having a serious girlfriend or wife for several years. These men have experience managing a relationship but they don’t know (or remember) how to start a new one. I give them the following advice:

After a messy breakup, I have heard several guys say that they don’t want to ever get in a relationship again. I think this attitude is very short-sighted. There are a lot of great single women out there. Just because things did not work out with one girl, does not mean that they will not work out with another one. You should go out and start dating, but be careful. The trick is to find the right girl for you and not to repeat the mistakes of the past.
We recommend that the newly single man start dating and meeting women immediately. There is no mourning period after a breakup- things did not work out so it’s time to move on with your life. You should not feel a false sense of loyalty to your former girlfriend. It takes time to rebuild dating skills and find the right person, so it’s best to start soon. The longer you wait, the longer you will be alone.
Do not make the mistake of falling in love with the first girl you meet after a breakup. Sometimes guys feel vulnerable after a breakup and are eager to start rebound fling. This rarely ends well. Take the time to date several women and find the right one for the long term instead of starting a relationship with the first girl you meet and ending up in another bad relationship.

It can be difficult to start dating after a breakup, but trust us, it is well worth it!

Copyright, 27 August 2010, Hollywood Wingmen Date Coaching.

An Important Gadget for Singles

The most important gadget for singles to have is a good cell phone, preferably a smart phone such as an iPhone, Blackberry or Motorola Droid. Having a cellular phone with good reception, text messaging, electronic calendar, backup and email capability is important for dating. There ar
e significant benefits to each of these functions.

Good text messaging capability. Keep track of text messages you have sent in the distant past. Text messaging is an excellent way to keep in touch with girls without an enormous investment in time.

Email capability. Keeping track of your emails is a great way to keep in touch with women and friends. You don't need to wait until the next time you have access to a computer to contact your friends.

Calendar. It's important to keep track of your busy personal life. A good smart phone can help.

Internet browser capability. You often have to look up information about parties, events and date locations while on the road. Having a phone with internet access can help.

GPS. Sometimes you have to drive to neighborhoods you're not familiar with to meet girls. Having a smart phone with directions is useful.

Backup and recovery capability. The Iphone (and other smart phone) backs up the entire phone and contacts every time you upload it. If you get a new phone or lose your old one, you can restore your phone book from backup. That way you won't lose track of any special friends just because you lost your phone.

In short, having a good smart phone can help your dating life, so get one.

Copyright, 8 August 2010, Hollywood Wingmen Date Coaching.

The Right Way to Save Money on a Date

Dr. Ofer was recently referenced in an article entitled "Going on a Date Without Breaking the Bank" on Mint.com by Susan Johnston. Dr. Ofer suggested that the beach was an inexpensive and fun date place.

We recommend that a man not to take a woman out to expensive places on a date. Contrary to what most men think, this is not attractive and will not help you get the girl. It conveys neediness and very low self esteem. Taking a woman to an expensive date place creates the impression that the man has nothing to offer, so he tries to bribe a woman to go out with him. Don't do it!

We have the following suggestions for other inexpensive date options (not mentioned Susan's article):

Cook dinner for your date- one of the best (and cheapest) dating ideas is to cook dinner for your date and take her to your place. Even the simplest pasta cooking skills can help you attract women. A woman will appreciate the fact that you took the time and effort to prepare dinner for her. You will be more unique in her eyes.
Quiet bars- don't go to loud bars. You want to be able to communicate comfortably. These are often the best date spots because they are inexpensive, relaxing and casual.
Market places- you can take her out to eat at a local farmer's market. This is usually cheaper and more original than going to a restaurant- it has a little flair.

The good news is that a man can have a successful date without spending a lot of money. The old cliche is true- money can't buy you love.

To find additional information about inexpensive date options and dating in general, please check out our upcoming book: How to Succeed with Women without Being Weird : A Practical Guide to Dating. The book will be coming out in early August so keep a lookout for it!

"Let's Just Be Friends"

You've been going out with a girl for 1 or 2 dates. Things seem to be going fine; maybe you've even kissed her or had sex with her. Then, out of nowhere she starts the "let's just be friends" conversation. What do you do? Never ever agree to this request. Being the friend of a woman that you are attracted to is frustrating and counterproductive. So What is your best response?

Don't let it shake you up. Do not appear that it has affected you. Smile.

Tell her you don't think she really means it because it is not congruent with what happened between you in the past. "I can feel your heart is saying something else". Some girls will actually think it over. If she persists, tell her "Don't kid yourself, we are not just friends."

If you know the girl is interested in you, assume that this is a test. Some girls say this line to gauge your interest level in them. Tell her you feel too much for her, and you won't be able to meet her as a friend. This will show her that you really care about her.

Tell her you don't believe you can be friends with her and she will just have to lose you altogether. This will cause her to think again if she doesn't want to lose you. In order for this line to work, you need to have established high value before the incident.

What if she insists? Kiss her on the cheek, stand up resolutely and walk away.

"Tell Me Who Your Friends Are, and I Will Tell You Who You Are"

Demonstrating higher value in a direct way can be very difficult. By telling too many good things about yourself you can be perceived as cocky, arrogant and immature. Try to project self-confidence through your behavior. It's not bad to be cocky but excessive bragging can reveal underlying insecurity. The solution is to convey high value indirectly by bragging about your friends.

Don't brag excessively about famous people or dwell on any single friend. By saying that your friends are smart and successful (be specific), you convey the message that you are as well. Otherwise they wouldn't be around you. People tend to be friends with people with similar characteristics. By saying that your friend is a successful and interesting person, your value increases as well.

Many times girls will try to lower your value by decreasing the value of your friends- don't fall into this trap! For example, a girl may tell you that one of your friends is childish and not very smart. She expects you to say that she is right- but by saying that you decrease your own value. Justifying her, is like saying: "I hang out with childish and stupid guys". The correct approach is to defend your friends firmly. Immediately tell her that she is wrong and this guy is a genius that succeeds in anything he does (exaggerate). Like an overprotective mother that glorifies her children, you should always present your friends in a positive light. Do this for the same reasons: a mother glorifies her children to glorify herself.

These guidelines apply also in extreme situations. Even if your friend was involved in a car accident while drunk, act as his lawyer. A good way to tell her this story is: "Sure, he made a mistake, but he is a great guy." Always portray your friends in a positive light.

Copyright, 25 November 2009, Hollywood Wingmen Date Coaching

I Got Her Phone Number- When Should I Phone?

So you got the phone. It can mean everything or nothing. Converting a phone number into a date is one of the most difficult and important aspects of the game. It starts before you get the phone, in how you interact with the girl and demonstrate value. You must distinguish yourself from the other guys that got her phone number in the past. Most guys wait 2-3 days before phoning the girl, because they don't want to be perceived as too eager or needy. You should take a different approach. Text her within one hour of meeting her!

Texting her something like "it was great meeting you, Joe" will differentiate your from the other guys she met. First, it reinforces her memory of you (which can fade if you wait 2-3 days to communicate). Second, she is more likely to respond to an immediate text then one that is sent later. Lastly, if you met her at night, texting her half hour later sets up the perfect framework for her to contact you back and meet up later that night. Frequently, you will meet a girl at a bar, text her an hour later and end up meeting her that night. This works especially well if you made a good connection but for whatever reason (she had to leave with her friends etc.) you couldn't close.

Texting a girl shortly after you meet her will help you to become part of her life, when she saves your number in her phone. The next time you call, she will remember you for sure. After all, this is the this third time she is communicating with you.

Here are some other good examples of text messages we recommend to use:

*When you met her during the afternoon- "let's meet up today at 8pm". It's less intrusive than instant date, but pretty effective (and different).

*If you met her in a nightclub- "let's go to another club, it's boring here". This way you can lead to venue change and you show that you have high standards when it comes to partying.

What If she doesn't reply to your texts? Try phoning in a day or two, if she still doesn't respond erase her number- there are many other women out there.

Copyright, 20 October 2009, Hollywood Wingmen Date Coaching

"This was the best experience I have ever had going out. The Doctor really built my self confidence. I went out and got 3 phone numbers the day after meeting with him."

Hua, Los Angeles